Welcome
Welcome to Longer Road, my recent blog endeavor. Feel free to comment or contact me directly. I plan to add a blogroll and have a few other features on the way, but for now, enjoy my random posts.
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Category Archives: Randomness
Portfolio: Gallagher PR
I’ve added a great new website to my portfolio, this one for a friend who has a D.C.-based PR firm, Gallagher Communications. The site is actually built on WordPress, with a custom template and a bunch of CSS, PHP and JS to handle the different layouts.
Clearing Cobwebs
I rather enjoy being the IT support for my extended family. I’m not sure how often this is the case for other nerdy folk, but I really don’t mind it. For one thing, I don’t do tech work anymore; as I have snuck off to actual creative and social pursuits; design, web development, social media and project management specifically. For another reason…it’s nostalgic. IT is also a skillset that doesn’t seem to diminish with underexposure.
My wife’s aunt dumped an old Dell desktop tower on me last weekend, wondering if I could take a look at…to see if it was worth keeping, selling, erasing, etc. As it turns out, Windows was jacked, but with a handy O/S disc I was able to restore it to its pre-2002 state. Threw a stick of RAM in it too.
It’s actually funny how primitive Windows XP looks these days, to someone who’s used to seeing Win7 or Macs exclusively for a couple years. Not to mention, it was WinXP SP1…and after installing for twenty minutes to get up to SP3, I was presented with: this…many…updates…
Windows XP gives me flashbacks of how Win95/98 used to look to me years ago. To anyone who says that XP has aged well, I would be inclined to disagree. It’s just so clunky and fragile.
Said Aunt has an iPad and a newer laptop, so this Dell will likely just show up on Craigslist, but it was a hoot to work on this blast-from-the-past for just an evening, and to restore it to it’s former glory
Worlds Worst Drivers: pt2
I’ve decided that among various spectator sports, watching bad drivers from the comfort of my living room is one of the most amusing. Here’s a video of some fella in a rear-wheel suv burning away rubber for a good four minutes. Keep in mind that all day dozens of cars had made it easily up our hill thanks to their driving skills.
D’awww
Mathematics
Defeated by the hill
a wee bit political?
Sure, I could go into a lengthy discussion about this country and its policies. I could also rattle off depressing statistics about things like education, health care, energy, crime, you name it. As an amateur political scientist sort of fellow (that is what my degree was in after all), I could also try to pinpoint the causes, demonstrate and predict trends, and engage in rousing debate.
Nah, instead I’ll just post a .jpg, since that’s also something within my skillset, and it’s also the lazier option.
I present to you the following image, which i think says more than a thousand words…as the saying goes:

Paging Doctor Fido
LongerRoad mascot and occasional guest-poster, Jaeda, went under the knife yesterday to have a fatty (lipoma) tumor removed from her belly. It was about the size of a gooey softball, underneath a muscle where it was hard to get at.
Surgery was a success and she’s home resting, a bit tired but seemingly happy. She’s also sporting a spandex compression vest to keep everything tight. Quite stylish, I might add


Holiday Card of the Year
Artsy Fartsy
Netflix broke my heart
There are very few products or commercial endeavors that I get behind…ever. Sure, I’ll rave about a brewery or crave TacoBell on rare occasions, but when it comes to companies or services, my capitalist streak is fairly minimal. I have no real loyalty to brands either, and try to shop locally.
There are a handful of companies that I ‘do’ support though, ones that I recommend to friends on occasion; having received unique or above-average experiences with. Some of these include the folks at Newegg.com, REI, ZenniOptical, Blizzard, and up until recently, Netflix. These were corporate ‘entities’ that I enjoyed interacting with and felt comfortable returning to even if perhaps a better deal could be found elsewhere. They treated me well and I felt like I should reciprocate by giving them my hard-earned dollars.
So why has Netflix been removed? Why has it crossed the spectrum to the literal opposite bucket…my ‘shit bucket’ as it were? Let me start by saying that I discovered the service in its relative infancy, when the web service was secondary to the mail-order discs; this is when my loyalty formed. I will now be chronicling its demise.
Rather than begin an energetic narrative, I think I should just chronologically list the many reasons:
- It began with the obnoxious commercials. Some were humorous but repetative, but most were just blatant and bland; vain and uninspiring product recognition.
- Their red ads plagued the Internet. Popups, banner ads, you name it. Everywhere! Aghh!
- In an attempt to improve their ‘recommend’ algorithms, they released the rental history of thousands of users, later getting sued for privacy concerns. Boo.
- They changed the browsing layouts, removing the ‘new releases this week’ replacing it with a grid layout that had ‘popularity’ as the main metric. This was likely done to throttle the demand for new DVDs. This makes it nearly impossible to see whats new. I feel like I need to visit another site like IMDB or HackingNetflix first, just to see what’s ‘actually’ new, then go hunting for it; only to find Netflix still doesn’t have enough discs in stock.
- The Qwikster debacle; not only are discs and online totally different products now, but seperately they cost more than before. Fuck. That.
- The quality of online videos is poor, any claims at it being HD are laughable. Competitors like Hulu, YouTube or Xfinitytv look far better.
- For two months now, though arguably somewhat our fault, we did not cancel our subscription in time and got renewed automatically for their web service. Their site offers no way to disable recurring auto renewal, no way to take our credit card off the account, no way to cancel pre-emptively. We must manually cancel the account on a specific day to avoid getting charged. Then on cancelling we lose not only any remaining days in the month, but also our queue gets nuked permanently. How is this a customer-friendly service?
- They offer tons of deals and discounts and free months to new customers, but the old loyal ones just get screwed. I’ve never received a single thank you, promotion, or discount…for being members for over 5 years.
So go ahead Netflix, take my $7.99 for January. It will be the last.

I couldn't find a good Netflix-related photo, so here's some kind of hairless mole-rat
Wolverine
Standy Desk : revisited
So it’s been a month and a half since Standy Desk was born. I reckon that it’s time for an update.

I’m personally happy to say, that I use it every day, (yep, that’s right, I’m rhymin’ now too). I stuck with it the first week, which was tough on the feet and legs. After that, it was smooth sailing and I strut my stuff a good 6+ hours a day for work now.
I take a few breaks: for lunch, meeting and calls…where I can sit down at my laptop. I also have a small table next to the desk where I can move my main monitor…if I wanna ‘chill like a vill’.
As a whole, I’m writing about Standy Desk to encourage it to others. I’m not necessarily preaching…it’s certainly not for everyone, but it’s worth a shot. There’s literally billions of people who stand for 8+ hours a day. Hell, there’s probably that many who are moving nonstop for well over that amount of time. For a nerdy web developer like me, it’s the least of physical exertions that I could muster.
So, for a fun little carpentry and personal challenge, it’s proved very successful. I recommend it and if you stick through the first week or so, it’ll may just add a couple years to your life
The incredible finale
Free entertainment
It’s official: People in Omaha don’t know how to drive in snow.
It’s an odd realization to come too, since this place is rather snowy in the winter…big midwest snowstorms that roll in and don’t melt for weeks.This impressive discovery was made from the convenience of my own home, indeed via the double windows directly behind me as I stand here at my desk. Said windows look out upon our hilly road, thusly:

Keep in mind that this picture was taken nearly a week after the snowstorm. There’s still ice on the road. Temperatures had yet to rise above the mid-twenties, even in the sunny afternoons…with nights as low as 2 degrees.The result of this, of course, being that the road ice hasn’t melted.
For this last week, the spectacle on the street has been both reliable and hilarious. Cars try to make it up the street with drivers clueless about both driving technique and apparently the laws of physics…especially those governing inertia and friction. The disheartening part, is that some of these people are literally doing damage to their vehicles…gunning the engine, wheels spinning at 70mph,melting troughs in the ice until their wheels are spinning on pavement, thick clouds of rubber smoke pouring out as their vehicle sits in place. This is almost exclusively sedans and minivans. The 4×4 folks crawl their way up our hill like it was a pleasant summer day.
I can’t say that all Omahans are clueless either. There’s the few vehicles that take the hill at a steady speed, and those with light feet who don’t let themselves lose traction in the first place. It’s unfortunate how many are clueless though, and end up sideways in front of our house, sliding backwards while still gunning the engine…creating polished slick patches for the next car.
It’s not just our street either. On a trip to Iowa over the weekend,we saw dozens of abandoned vehicles strewn across medians, some looking like they rolled or hit other vehicles. Facebook was abuzz with people who got into accidents. Even our own little Honda was briefly uncontrollable, mere feet from our driveway.
It makes me want to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Why were there lines at McDonalds? Crowds at the movie theater? People traveling at all?
This seems to be more of a phychological…or perhaps sociological…issue. People look outside and know that roads are dangerous. Cars accidents are already a leading cause of death and injury nationwide and that accidents are far more likely in bad weather. So why do people travel? Why do they feel that a Big Mac is worth risking a car accident? Is the increase in risk not fully perceived when making the decision? Do rational people weigh this type of danger low because of faulty logic, car commercials, or overconfidence? Do car drivers know when they’re approaching my house, their vehicle can’t possibly make it up the hill, but try anyway…or are they oblivious?
This little sideshow out front has allowed me to witness human decision-making in its most primal form. I can see the faces of those people; extreme panic, anger, frustration…I can see their decision process as they gun the engine, as they sit and pause to think, as they look around them for ways to either u-turn or tackle the challenge. It’s an interesting glimpse at the base decisionmaking that people make, and I certainly am in those places myself, all the time. What is most interesting, is how each driver is so different. Every person makes thousands of small and large decisions every day, and I get a perfect closed arena to experience this diversity of decisions, right from my window.
By gross popular demand
Awww, that’s nasty
One of the fun things with living in a rental house, is that you make discoveries. We made one such discovery a week or so after moving in and firing up the furnace on the first brisk autumn morning. As savvy members of post-industrial America, both the wife and I knew that central heating units have filters, and like any filter, need replacement on occasion. This was a morsel of useful modern-day knowledge that was passed down to me perhaps by my parents, and filed away in the back of my brain for the distant eventuality that I’d be living someplace with forced air when I grew up. It’s the sort of trivial fact that can easily be forgotten, but just as quickly remembered when in the basement, when the heater or A/C kicks on, or when you move a new air filter aside while grabbing golf clubs or trying to find the power drill in the garage.
“Oh hey, I bet the air filter needs changing,” you think, and you change it. You like clean air; you know that when clogged it makes the heater run less efficiently, it’s just something that you do.
Well, the Ollinger Family had no such inkling…no such concept. Who are these wiley Ollingers, you ask? They are the previous renters; the folks who leave a drawer full of legal documents, work performance reviews, and don’t bother to change their address with the post office. They are the ones who’ve been enjoying this:
That there, is a furnace filter, 1 inch thick, with another full inch of the grossest gnarliest filth adhered to it. That filter has been in the furnace for yeeeaaaaars. Upon its removal, the central air system turned from a strained whistling hiss, into a flood of glorious radiant heat. In a tug of the arm, I probably cut my heating bill in half, supplying the poor furnace the precious air it craved.
That white filter beneath it in the picture…well that was sitting up against the furnace, wrapped in plastic and waiting its turn to shine. Who knows how long it had been there, whether the Ollinger’s had planned to make the switch and didn’t know how, whether the landlord brought it over with hopes of use…we may never know. What I do know though, is that it’s clearly the wrong filter, you can see the dimensions in the pic. When alI was said and done, I had to go to Home Depot and drop a couple bucks on a correct size filter. In the long run, $3 is worth clean air and lower heating bills, I’m sure of it

As for the lesson of this tale:
1. Go check or change your air filter, it’ll be fun
2. I think i need to write some sort of further expose on the Ollingers. A rich full tale of these folks may be one for the ages.
The smallest digits
Yeesh, so I was walking…well, more like trotting…into the kitchen yesterday, and somehow caught my tiniest of toes on the corner baseboard trim. After the wave of searing pain and string of profanities subsided, the wife decided to wander on in to see what all the commotion was.
“I think it’s broken, I heard cracking,” I said between clenched teeth.
“Uh-huh,” she replied casually, used to my shenanigans and ploys for attention; the countless cries of ‘wolf!’ that I deliver on a regular basis. A single tear rolled down my contorted face as I hopped around on one foot. This had little effect on this woman, jaded from my procession of past dramatic performances, where the slightest hint of a bruise or scrape was my only ‘proof’ of actual harm.
“I’m serious!” I wailed, but this only galvanized her assurance that I was milking the situation.
“I think I need suturing,” I then muttered, unleashing my most pathetic and dejected expression, something that could be described as a combination of puppydog eyes and vacant mouthbreathing. Her response to this, predictably, was to burst out laughing and resume whatever task that brought her there to the kitchen in the first place. To her, it was just another of my exaggerated eccentricities…and while she does enjoy them at times…I was basically a street performer. She got her chuckle from it, I got whatever ten seconds of attention that I needed, and we were now free to go our separate ways.
Of course the reason I’m telling this tale – as you maybe guessed – is that my foot actually did hurt. It hurt really, really bad.
“I feel blood,” I muttered, staying in character. I don’t recall her replying or even giving me a glance when I said this. She was already grabbing a glass of water, having wiped her hands of my nonsense. I can’t blame her, I pull this sort of mercy plea fairly often. “It’s pooling up in my sock, I can feel it,” I pleaded.
She chuckled a bit, afterall I was now taking this beyond the normal attention span for such performances. “It’s soupy, I just know it. I think…I think I need suturing.”
After another moment of hopping, I tried to put some weight on it and wailed in pain. She had turned her justifiably skeptical attention back to me and finally gave in. “Alright, take your sock off then.”
We hobbled to my office, and I collapsed into the chair, putting my leg up on a small table that she cleared off. She was probably already planning the emasculating remarks in her head, for when my foot looked healthy and intact.
“Ow ow ow!” I bleated, as she tried pulling the fuzzy sock off.
“Oh come on! I haven’t even- OH GOD!” she exclaimed, taking half a step back. Sure enough, there was blood everywhere. My little toe was a gory mess, and the nail (and some of the surrounding meat) was just hanging there. A trickle of red ran down my foot. The inside of the sock was soggy. Alas, my foot was as gnarly as she could imagine or I could hope.
That’s basically it, end of the story. She sutured it up with gauze and provided sage medical advice for me to ignore. I was of course grateful to be made whole by my soulmate. That outcome aside, I don’t think this story really has a message or a theme, or a lesson gleaned from it. I think we each got something out of the experience though. To her, perhaps I learned a lesson on the whole ‘crying wolf’ thing; that my eccentric attention-seeking antics finally caught up to me, that I won’t exaggerate next time. To me though…well, probably the opposite. I now have precedence! Stubbed toe or sickness, papercut or sniffle. An actual potential injury to bank on!










